#16: A fast & furious dining dump

Turns out too much birthday is a great excuse to delay churning out a newsletter

I won’t lie to you all. I’m writing this the morning we leave for a trip to Scotland (and it might show with typos, the beauty of free content). I had every intention to do this sooner. But sometimes, you just need a good procrastination-induced stream of consciousness. 

Let’s cut to the chase. I have been eating out quite a lot recently in DC. Remember last month when I said eating in is fun? So is eating out. So, I have many DC recommendations to inform the start of your silly summer shenanigans. Let’s get into it.

Fast casual near 14th & U Street

I have been sussing out the casual restaurants near the 14th & U Street metro station that have been on my list for too long. I have some thoughts. 

Dukem Ethiopian Restaurant

Suggested order: Lamb tibs entree and special Dukem veggie combo

For those who aren’t aware, DC residents are blessed to live in a city with one of the highest populations of Ethiopians in the US (here's a good explainer on how this came to be!). This gives us a HUGE array of Ethiopian spots to choose from, and also maybe too much liberty to get picky with our choices. 

Dukem is a very solid takeout option. They cover classic tibs platters, which include gorgeously juicy (and often spicy) bites of marinated beef and lamb; kifto and gored gored, which are those same meats often prepared raw like a tartare, and; wot, which is a stewed preparation of both lamb and beef. 

I think a good Ethiopian spot needs to have tender tibs. But, a great Ethiopian spot also has to nail its veggie platters. They’re essential to rounding out a platter with different textures and layers of spice that create a perfect bite all wrapped up by a piece of injera. I love the layered heat from Dukem’s red lentil stew, the crunchy and somewhat tangy bite from the stewed cabbage, but was a little let down by the collard greens. I will definitely be back.

Dukem’s veggie platter to go!

Spicy Water

Suggested order: Chicken kebab sandwich with extra chipotle sauce & fried plantains

This West African restaurant has a wider Ivorian menu in its teeny tiny upstairs dining room. Takeout runs in the English basement level of the same townhouse. 

The size of these sandwiches are the West African equivalent to a Subway foot-long. The grilled kebabs are lightly charred, tucked into a sandwich roll next to some lettuce and tomato, and pulled together by a chipotle sauce that is falsely advertised as very spicy. You’ll be fine - double up on the sauce. 

The roll could be better, but all in all it’s a hearty dinner that should be paired with their caramelized fried plantains. Their whole fried fish and peanut stew are on my agenda for my next visit.

The Greek Spot

Suggested order: Just a tub of the fiery feta dip

After hearing so much about this no frills Greek place, I was so let down. The chicken souvlaki was so dry it needed to be dunked in tzatziki sauce. A very classic chicken and rice soup, avgolemono, was all lemon, with hardly any comforting chicken flavor making its way in. The rice pudding was somehow giving oatmeal - so grainy and under-sweetened. Just a lot of L’s overall. 

The only really redeemable part of this meal was the fiery feta spread, which has been fueling my latest breakfast hyperfixation. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed this consists of lacy fried eggs over a bed of diced cucumbers mixed with olive oil and feta. Their fiery feta really made me double down on this this, so, I can’t fully knock it. 

More than casual?

Pascual

Suggested order: Everything. Don’t be like us and save room for dessert.

By the will of the Resy gods, we got a reservation at newish modern Mexican spot, Pascual, for my birthday. It did not disappoint! 

Pascual’s guacamole with all the fixings

Here’s a breakdown of what we ordered:

• Guacamole with all the fixings including salsa habanero, salsa macha, salsa tatemada, smoked papaya, shishito escabeche, pickled radish & piña: Served on a lazy susan, this immediately starts the party. Everyone gets a little bit of everything, and the house made blue corn tostadas make all the fixings shine. 

• Tuna aguachile with smoked strawberry, thai basil, pasilla oaxaqueña: This was a polarizing dish for the table. The tuna itself is ridiculously fresh, but the strawberry sauce is a little too overpowering for me. The sweetness triggered my tastebuds the same way a strawberry sundae sauce might, so it just wasn’t my thing.

• Steak tartare with peanut salsa, aioli rescoldo, smoked olives: This has been one of my favorite bites of this year: smokey, briny, spicy, buttery, with a slight crunch of peanut and chile tucked in a house made tortilla. This bite sent me over the moon. 

• Tacos al pastor with salsa cruda, salsa morita, roasted, piña: Naturally, we ordered two tacos for the table for a bite each. Very juicy and surprisingly a bit more acidic than other versions I’ve had in the past. 

• Arroz with salsa macha, scallions, uni: I am admittedly trying to get over my personal ick with uni (sea urchin). This rice unfortunately did not convince me, but the uni lovers did crush this. 

• Lobster tetela with kol sauce, habanero pico de gallo, epazote: A star in my eyes. I still do not understand what kol sauce is but I know I love it. A tetela is a traditional Oaxacan dish in Mexico similar to a triangular empanada. This dish’s outer shell is made with corn masa and stuffed with a decadent lobster and cheese filling. There is nothing to dislike and everything to love. This tetela is topped with a beautifully arranged cluster of pico de gallo delicately placed in a lobster claw. 

• Fideos negros with huitlacoche, mushrooms, black garlic: A rave of umami packed is a little bowl. Huitlacoche is a fungus that grows on corn. It’s often paired with mushrooms for its complementary woody/earthy flavor. It’s sometimes compared to truffles. That probably doesn’t sound super enticing, but its akin to a truffle-laden pasta dish you’d get at an Italian restaurant. Fideos are crushed spaghetti pieces then cooked with this incredibly savory sauce built by the huitlacoche, mushrooms, and black garlic. It’s a dish that feels really special to eat. 

• Parsnip tamal with mole blanco, marcona almonds, endives: This was unexpectedly really freaking good. The creaminess of the mole blanco with slight earthiness from the parsnip made for a surprisingly decadent dish that I still think about often.

• Lamb neck barbacoa with ayocote beans, salsa cruda, herbs: This blows every single lamb shoulder that I’ve eaten out of the park. With minimal effort of a fork, the meat falls immediately off the bone. It’s buttery, rich, and enhanced by black beans that are cooked just as perfectly as the lamb. Riding on the flavor of the lamb neck, the beans are cooked just so their shell has a slight bite, and just softened inside. I would order this every time and it’s at a very reasonable price point given it fed 7 people with some leftover.

• Skate a la brasa with chipotle, cabbage, sour onions: This is the best whole fish I’ve had in DC. The chipotle creates a deeply flavorful crust on the fish that’s lifted by tangy cabbage, sour onions, and a velvety chipotle sauce. Wrapped in yet another house made tortilla, this is the best bite to end the meal. 

• A side note on drinks: Get the No Whey José. The cocktail combines vodka, green tomato, and whey separated from the curds of the cheese they make in house. The result is a savory and sweet, green-hued refreshing sipper that works with basically every dish on the menu.

Méli Wine & Mezze

Suggested order: Anything on the happy hour menu, avoid going with 6+ people

This is a quirky-ass Greek-ish wine bar tucked in the lobby of an apartment building between Adams Morgan and Columbia Heights. The interior is doing it’s best to feel like an independent space, but unless you’re sitting out on the patio, it is admittedly a strange dining experience. 

However, the food and wine options are confusingly stellar. To get around zoning laws, they’re posing as a “members-only club” where you’re granted club access if you spend $25 on wine or non-alcoholic drinks. The concept still perplexes me, but I’ve  been once for happy hour and once for dinner and the food really is worth coming back to. 

Do not skip over the cabbage salad, falafel, crispy potatoes, or the lamb souvlaki. You really can’t go wrong with any of the dishes.

I want to steer you towards the feta martini, but it’s been inconsistent between my last two visits. Martini #1 was well balanced and too drinkable. Martini #2 truly tasted like rubbing alcohol with feta cheese juice. Honestly, I will be going back and will be ready to take that risk. I think #2 had to do with an overwhelmed bar manned by one person who had to crank out four of those martinis at the fault of my suggestion to the group. 

I will also say we had an incredibly strange service experience as a group of 8 recently. Our server forgot to punch in the second half of our dinner after being really aggressive about what we “needed to get” - so much so that it felt like a round of business negotiations.

My conclusion is this is a really good happy hour option ($10 wine flights on Tuesdays!), or a safe choice for a group of less than 6 people. 

Gemini (formerly Happy Gyro?)

I feel like a boomer saying this, but I think this wine bar is trying to do too much under one roof. Their business model of an all-day bottle shop, with an ice cream stand outside, and dinner service that starts at 5:30 becomes really confusing when all hosted out of the same venue. 

My conclusion: If the weather is nice, this is the perfect place to go when you can clock out of work at 4:00pm. Go to the bottle shop before 5:00pm, pick a bottle of wine to split and secure a table before dinner starts at 5:30pm. Immediately at 5:30pm, go inside to compare the printed menu with the menu available on their QR code because for some reason they are different but both available? Note the differences between menu items, get a salad, a few pizza slices to share, maybe wings or a gyro if they’re available, and perch for the evening. 

If the conditions stray outside of this plan, you may be frustrated by inconveniences. If it’s raining, you have to eat inside at high top tables with no chairs. If you want pasta, that is only available inside where you also have to stand while eating. I am very confused by this, but I don’t have to be if I just stick with pizza, gyros, and salads, which are all executed very nicely. We had the pasta, which I thought was good, but probably not worth eating while standing for the price point. 

Summer happy hours

Baby Shank: Go here for all day happy hour on Wednesdays. $35 bottles of a-okay wine, $10 cocktails, and $19 charcuterie boards are begging you to establish a residency here this summer. Do not get the sushi. Truly, why do they have sushi? Stick to cooked and cured items. 

Pearl Dive Oyster Palace: This is a lethal happy hour. $6 glasses of wine, $8 martinis, half-priced oysters. Monday-Thursday 4-7pm and Fridays from 3-7pm. 

Méli Wine & Mezze: As mentioned above, Meli should be added to your rotation. $7 wines, sangria, and beer. $7 dips and snacks. 4-6:30pm every single day.

Honorable mention: I have to give honorable mention to the Cheesecake Factory which I recently visited for my annual haunt. Shoutout to this establishment for giving me an immediate high at the first bite of appetizers and brown bread, and consistently making me feel immediately ill as I leave the dimly lit booths and reenter society in downtown Washington, DC. 

That’s all I got for this newsletter. There’s definitely more spots I didn’t have time to recap you on which is why you should tune in for next month’s post! I promise next month’s will be on time! Cheers, smooches, etc.