Industry interview #1

On fine dining service, tipping culture, and DMV eats

In an effort to uphold a promise that I set when I started this newsletter 10 months ago, I am thrilled to share my first industry interview in this month’s issue. 

My hope for this newsletter is to sprinkle in varying perspectives from real people in the restaurant industry. It has been a bananas few years for those working in this industry, which has been under an intense and somewhat distorted spotlight in food media and entertainment.

My goal is to share some stories and perspectives grounded in reality with readers who might only be visiting restaurants and f&b businesses, not working in them. Alternatively, I hope readers coming from the restaurant industry can resonate with these interviews, and maybe find shared experiences (if you’re interested in interviewing for future issues, let me know!).

I am even more thrilled and thankful to be sharing this first interview with my friend, Angelina. Angelina has been a confidante for me since I started working in DC restaurants last year. We have some similar stories of sharing chaotic high school restaurant jobs, but Angelina has progressed to front of house serving roles in very high level fine dining scenes in DC. She’s calm, cool, collected, and always ready to celebrate. She is constantly sharing her wisdom, encouraging learning, and capitalizing on any hours outside of the restaurant she serves. 

I’m so grateful for Angelina’s time and patience while working on this first interview with me, and I hope you learn something new from her reflections. 

1) How did you start your career in the  service industry, and how did you reach the fine dining sphere?

I started my career in the service industry in high school as a way to make extra money, and through college, realized it was a skill that I was happy to hone. What appealed most in those years is the camaraderie shared among coworkers; it’s basically impossible not to make friends, and I quickly found myself in a support network outside of my family or school. Working in service is a full contact undertaking, and you learn a lot about your coworkers very quickly. Friendships form fast, and coupled with the financial incentives, I found myself taking this work as seriously as I took any academic or career goals. One of the amazing things about restaurant work is the nearly nonexistent barrier of entry. It’s hard and very physically and emotionally taxing, but you don’t need prior education or training to get started. Promotions come quickly, or people move on to more prestigious positions outside of where they started very quickly. In my teens and early 20s, hard work wasn’t a burden, and I showed curiosity for the craft and products, opening up even more opportunities.

2) In your opinion, what’s the biggest skill hurdle when you jump from serving at casual dining to fine dining spaces? 

I think attention to detail is the most important skill to hone in any career or craft – fine dining provides many details to obsess over. There’s a protocol for how glasses are arranged, napkins folded, flows of traffic, and language. These are rules at first, they eventually become muscle memory, and once you’re comfortable with that muscle memory, you develop a rhythm. Perhaps this is why fine dining has a reputation for being elitist and stuffy, and historically I agree with that. However, since the last big recession, dining and restaurants experienced a renaissance that questioned some of these older, dated conventions. 

I think what we see now is an interpretation of that foundation that centers more guest-forward, warm, and at times, casual hospitality – but the basic, tried and true foundations are still working in the background. I think the older conventions are a template for how service approaches are developed now, but you still have to know the rules and only after knowing them can you show some creativity. All of this starts with attention to detail. 

The other big skill is emotional intelligence – you don’t just need to anticipate the needs of guests and respond to those anticipations before they know that you know, you also have to be very good at managing your own emotions and responses. This is true for any job – everything runs smoother if you keep feelings in check, and no one wants to work with someone constantly complaining or easily upset by the smallest slight. I’ve often heard a definition of hospitality as “anticipating guests’ needs before they know they need it,” but I’d extend that to also managing your own needs and expectations accordingly. 

3) What’s one thing that you wish diners understood about serving as a career?

“Working at a restaurant job isn’t a real thing” is extremely ignorant! Fine dining offers a unique incentive structure unlike any other job in the world, and if you want it, incredible flexibility. I think people forget that restaurant workers raise families, earn degrees, run businesses, etc. alongside their restaurant careers. It’s difficult to find the type of flexibility and financial incentive that restaurants can provide that also allow this type of flexibility. 

Maybe people wouldn’t think this way if other restaurants treated their spaces with professionalism. I think in the most elite restaurant spaces, professionalism has been encouraged for quite some time. It’s important to not ignore how restaurants have historically been toxic spaces ripe for abuse and exploitation – coming from ownership and management. Issues such as substance abuse, sexism, misogyny, racism, etc. shouldn’t be overlooked just because the pay incentives have been so good for a few. In most cases, the pay incentives reinforce the systems of oppression – and I think this is where the current movements to eliminate sub-minimum wage pay and remove the dependence on tips comes from. Workers in restaurants feel the pressures of these systems both from customers, and also from ownership/management. HR didn’t really exist for restaurants until very recently, and even now, I’ve noticed they’re more interested in protecting the interests of the business rather than workers (I guess this is just HR everywhere lol).

I think the efforts to raise wages are rooted in the right place, but it also requires a shift in how cultures within restaurants develop and operate – truly making employee-first spaces – no angry chefs, comprehensive health benefits, paid time off, sick leave, family leave, supportive access to mental health and substance abuse programs, etc. This is what I would like to see more employers advertise; competitive pay is only one part of what makes these jobs appealing. Post-pandemic, a lot of talented staff left restaurants altogether, but the ones that remained have become more critical of status quo’s – it’s like we finally have a bit more leverage to create the work environments that work for us.

People who hate tipping in America often try to justify tipping less with the common European example. It's always funny to me how people bring up Europe in their efforts to “eliminate” tipping. Tips are a thing in Europe, and they are different in every country I’ve visited. I think the general commonality is that staff don’t make $2 or $3 or $5 an hour like they do here, but they still depend on and expect tips to some degree, especially at higher end establishments with more “full contact” service. In some countries, like Hungary, every menu has language about whether or not service is included. If you missed it, you should ask – staff have always been gracious about the question. It’s a major misconception to think you don’t have to tip at all when you go to Europe. Of course, you don’t have to tip anywhere, but it’s courteous to follow local customs and just not be a dick. 20%+, which is more the norm in fine dining in the US, is replaced with 10-15% as the expectation.

A funny story while having drinks with people from a hostel in Madrid last month: The only other American in the group said something like “it’s so cool to not have to tip here!” and all the Europeans told him he was wrong. It was his first time in Europe so he really didn’t know, but it made me wonder how prolific this idea of not tipping in Europe is around the US – clearly we are out of the loop. 

There’s a hierarchy between the back of house (BOH) and front of house (FOH) staff. People working BOH are not there for a casual job. At the end of the day, FOH is often viewed as just the ones picking up plates, but you’re also responsible for creating an experience for someone.  

4) Initiative 82 (I82) has led restaurants to ramp up service fees in DC to cover operational costs as hourly minimum wage payouts increase for owners. But, not all service fees are used the same way. Could you elaborate on the difference between why a restaurant might impose a 20-22% service fee, versus a 3% service fee?

The 20-22% service fee is considered reasonable - you then just make the same amount whether you’re busy or not, which is something to consider for owners and employees. No standards were set for how owners would pay these hourly raises.

My employer has instituted a 3.5% fee to cover wage increases, and in the upscale fine dining setting, I haven’t received many comments on it. I think it’s important to note that the reason these sudden fees seem so confusing and random is because restaurants have been allowed, by design, to operate on certain margins for so long. The new initiative mandated an immediate raise (which will go up incrementally over the next few years), without any guidelines and oversight for how that would happen.

So, this is why we’re seeing businesses make many different decisions about how to cover that wage increase. Places were charging 20-22% service fees prior to I82 passing, but they were a minority. I think without some guidance or clear guidelines from the Council, this trend of erratic fees will get more confusing before it settles down.

The system is set up to exploit a group of people. We should also think about where other tipped employees fall like nail and hair technicians, valet, etc. We should be thinking about the broader context of tipped service. 

5) How is I82 impacting fine dining servers’ take home pay now? How might I82 specifically impact fine dining servers once owners are paying their staff the full $16/hour minimum wage?

So far, I have not noticed any meaningful difference in tipping habits. In fine dining, 18-22% tips are common, and it’s also common for people to tip 20% on the pre-tax amount. I still see this happening, but it’s only been a few months. I don’t see tipping going away even with gradual wage increases. I think of places like San Francisco, where they’ve had mandated fees on dining checks for years. It’s important to remember a lot of people dining at these higher tier establishments in DC don’t live here and aren’t privy to our local policy changes; this is how I always feel when dining out in San Francisco. I’m not sure what some of those fees are meant to do, and I know that servers and other staff make more than $5 an hour, but I’m still tipping in the 20% neighborhood.

6) You are a PG County native who is constantly going to great spots outside DC. What are some gems that you’re willing to share with us?

This question makes me wish I still owned a car! Koco’s Pub in Baltimore has the best crabcakes on the planet. Also in Baltimore – Comptoir du Vin is a special gem with rustic French-ish cuisine and excellent wine. 

I’m a huge fan of Malaysian Kopitiam (Centreville, VA) – Malaysian food is underrepresented in the DMV and it’s so tasty. I recently had a fun and leisurely lunch at Omy Hot Pot (Annandale, VA). I’m very happy Manifest Bread (Riverdale Park, MD) opened so close to my last childhood home – makes it easy to visit and indulge in some of the best baked treats. Niwano Hana (Rockville, MD) offers excellent sushi (and close to many international grocery markets). I was fortunate to finally visit Crabtowne USA (Glen Burnie, MD) over the summer for crabs and arcade games, highly recommend. 

Also for my eastern shore recommendations:

• Fish Tales in Ocean City, MD

• Henlopen City Oyster House in Rehoboth, DE

• Purple Parrot in Rehoboth, DE

Once again, a HUGE thank you to Angelina for sharing her thoughts. I’d love to get any reader’s thoughts on this interview format, and what other industry perspectives you’d be interested in hearing about in the future. 

Thanks for reading, and somehow, I’ll see you all on the other side of friendsgiving/thanksgiving season. GOBBLE GOBBLE!